The Hidden Abundance Of Letting Go: Clearing Physical, Mental And Emotional Space

When my husband and I moved into our house in southwest Minneapolis, there was a collection of about ten boxes that sat in a corner of the basement for well over year.

I can't really say why. We just sort of ran out of steam in the unpacking process. Every time I went down to do a load of laundry or feed the cats, I'd look over at that corner and just think, Ugh. When are we going to take care of that stuff? Finally on a rainy day in September, a year and a half after we moved in, we decided to get the task done. Two-thirds of that stuff wound up being either donated or thrown out. We certainly didn't need it now if we hadn't needed it in the past 18 months. That corner is clean and clear now. When I go downstairs, I notice and appreciate the light that pours in the window. Physically that space is clear – but also clear now is the space in my head that was continually occupied by that unresolved pile of boxes.

The intense emotional connection we can, at times, have with the things we own, including our “intangible” possessions – our health, our beliefs about ourselves and others, our old grudges, and unresolved pain is an interesting and difficult issue to address.

These are all things that take up space. Often times they take up so much space that it doesn't leave room for anything else. We long for simplicity – but letting go can be difficult and painful for many reasons, even when holding on to these things is to our emotional detriment. Let's consider how our brains process input. One of our neurological paths could be considered “the path of reason. ” This is the part of the brain that, when we look at a chair, it sees an item made of wood and fabric.

The other neurological path is one that is deeply and instantly connected to emotion and memory. When we, again, look at the chair, it remembers everything – pleasing and unpleasing – related to that item. So, something as uncomplicated as a chair could be strongly representational of experiences such as guilt, a negative relationship, sorrow, or a feeling of being overwhelmed.

Therefore, it is easy to understand how a home or a heart filled with these triggers can grow to be a pretty tough place to live peacefully. My friend Heidi DeCoux is a professional organizer specializing in home organization. She explains the cycle of physical and emotional chaos like this:The problem, everyone says, is the clutter. Actually, the real problem is . . . the lack of space. When we don't have space, there's nowhere to grow and no room for anything new.

Instead, we experience more stuffing and filling versus positive, beneficial growth. Recently, I had the chance to listen to a wonderful interview with coach and author of the book “Throw out Fifty Things, ” Gail Blanke. She made the point that removing clutter is not so that you can live in an immaculate environment (in fact, the need for perfection can be it's own type of emotional clutter).

It is so that we can make room for new possibilities and clear a path for productive, forward movement. Heidi's work encompasses this philosophy: “Organizing is about seeing the transformation of people and not so much about organizing things. “Blanke often refers to the “Rules of Disengagement” which is a kind of litmus test for letting go of the things that hinder us:* If the thing, the idea, the feeling, the person weighs you down, consistently hurts you, holds you back — let it go. * Let it go — if the thing, idea, feeling, or person just sits there, takes up space and contributes nothing. * Let it go — if you continuously deliberate, always weighing the pluses and negatives – “Should I let it go? Should I keep it? As Heidi says, “An environment of guilt is created in the stuff you feel guilty about getting rid of – who can grow in that? “* Don't make it so hard.

The things that are meant to be in our lives will not cause us such constant confusion and pain. This is the time of year when we start consuming and accumulating in earnest.

It seems like the perfect time to stop and breathe and ask: What could I be letting go of? What in my physical or emotional environment is no longer helping me move forward in my life? What might there be room for in my life if I let go of these items, this broken relationship, this disappointment, this fear?

The tendency in people is to fill in space. So, the question becomes, What should I fill it with?
Heidi DeCoux is a professional organizer & creator of

The Fast-Filing Method home office filing system . To get her FREE Kit:

The Fast & Easy Way to Get Organized & Stay Organized, visit ClearSimpleLiving.com. Siri Myhrom is an educator & therapeutic writing facilitator. To get a free subscription to Siri's e-Magazine, Winter Oak Weekly, visit winter-oak.com.

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